If this were a natural pregnancy, without the involvement of REs, etc, I would most likely not have had an u/s yet, and therefore still be pregnant. I would get some bad news this week.
I am hoping, just a little, that the results of the Bhcg on Thursday will warrant an u/s and I can catch a glimpse at what, exactly, is going on inside, what the holdup is.
I am no longer fearful of exercise causing miscarriage in early pregnancy. Last night, like the day before with another workout, I really pushed myself while swimming. I swam hard. I have always loved the idea that with swimming, you leave behind in the pool every negative thought you had going in. You leave lighter, tired and cleansed.
Yesterday afternoon I met a friend who knows about the m/c, but not my infertility, for coffee. I decided to tell her everything. It felt good to bring another person into the small circle of friends who know. It also felt good to talk about the pregnancy loss.
My BBT went back up to 98.4 this morning. So much for the downward trend I was expecting yesterday.
4 comments:
Gah! I can just feel your pain in waiting. Wish you didn't have to go through this. I am glad you were able to let another friend in. It is so important to have some people who "know" what's going on.
I am so sorry you have to go through this waiting period. It seems so cruel. I like that your doing the things that bring you peace and comfort, and I think it will help nudge the process along, although I know nothing on the topic. I really hope this will be a closed chapter soon, so you can move on with your journey, although I know there will be scars and wounds left behind. You remain in my thoughts and prayers Jill. xoxoxox
So very sorry you have to go through this process.
Again, I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. It's awful, I know. Just remember you are not alone. I'm glad you could get out and talk to someone. For me after every loss I would have dark days followed by good days. Sometimes I would feel whole again only to realize the same day that I was still broken. You are an amazing, strong woman who will make it through this. You will some day hear the pitter patter of little feet. Sending love, prayers and positive thoughts your way.
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