Friday's spotting episode was over by that night. As were my symptoms, every last one of them. Last Wednesday I bought a soft sports-bra that I could change into in the evenings, when my boobs felt like they were going to explode out of my bra, along with my yoga pants for that time of day when my pants felt too tight and I couldn't lay on the couch half asleep comfortably enough in my day clothes.
Well, I never even got the opportunity to use new sports-bra because by the time I got it washed and line dried I didn't need it anymore. Friday night, 10:45 arrived without even falling asleep on the couch first. Then during the night I didn't need to get up to pee at all. Saturday night happened much the same. No fatigue, deflated breasts, and that all too familiar feeling of a hormonal shift that signals miscarriage. The only thing giving me hope was that I didn't have any spotting all day.
And then this morning I woke up with reddish blood on my pantyliner. Not a lot, but enough to put the fear of inevitable miscarriage at the forefront of my mind. The spotting has been reddish-pinkish-brown all day, and kind of a watery consistency. I passed one clot, the size of a dime and purple and grey in color. Not a reassuring color. But no cramping.
Still no cramping and minimal spotting. If it weren't for my complete loss of symptoms accompanying the spotting I don't think I would be as worried as I am. I really have a bad feeling about this. I think my little embryo whose heart was beating so confidently a week ago has died. And I think this spotting is the beginning of my fourth miscarriage and marks the end of my fourth pregnancy.
I'm going to try to get in for a scan tomorrow or Tuesday.
Today I am 7w4d. Fuck.
10 comments:
I'm really sorry to hear that you're so worried. I would be too. However, symptoms come and go, as I'm learning with this pregnancy. My RE keeps telling me that they mean absolutely nothing.
With that said, though... I get it. Hang in there.
I was really hoping that you would have an uneventful pregnancy and I am so sorry that you are going through this. I do agree that symptoms can't be trusted, so hang in there. I've got everything crossed that this is nothing.
Worrying and thinking the worst is the worst thing you can do for you and your baby. Positivity will make such a difference. if you want more of a positive boost you should read Trying to get Pregnant (and Succeeding) - for more info check out this article in Daily Mail: bit.ly/T6Dq3u
Sending prayers your way...
Sending so many positive thoughts your way. Much much love to you and your embryo.
Thinking of you and hoping all is ok c
I've never commented, but wanted to offer you some hope. I had IVF in 2/2010. I started spotting at 6wks. I went to the RE and saw the flicker of my baby's heartbeat. My RE said the spotting could be numerous things but everything was okay. He sent me home and told me no lifting over 5lbs and pelvic rest. I was getting ready for work one morning a week later (7wks). I felt a huge gush of blood and a clot. I screamed for my husband and blood was all over the bathroom. Of course, I just knew it was my baby. I was devastated. We called the RE and went in at 2pm. I was so nervous I hated going to the bathroom and wiping. We went in for the ultrasound. My RE was swabbing all this blood out of me. I could see my husband's face and it terrified me. An then I saw and heard my little guys heartbeat. I had a huge SCH. The loss of blood and spotting was from it. I was immediately put on bedrest for 7 days. I spotted for the next 11 wks of my pregnancy. But, I delivered a healthy baby boy at 39 week. Keep the faith even when it's so hard!
Oh my. I am not going to even offer anything to you except that you are in my thoughts.
And being negative is not going to hurt your baby. Geez. Some comments from people can be really frickin stupid.
Feel whatever it is you are feeling. We love you, and update when you can.
Thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers.
Thinking of you Jill and hoping you get some answers soon!
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