Beta #3

I was feeling so, so doomed on Monday.  F and I decided that we would rather know now if the pregnancy isn't progressing normally than wait for the ultrasound to confirm our fears in two weeks. 

The night before beta #3 I gagged while brushing my teeth.  I thought about taking an hpt in the morning just to see where the line was.  But I was so afraid it would look lighter that I couldn't muster the courage (or self-torture) to do so. 

I was prepared for beta #3 to end the pregnancy yesterday.  Or if not end it yesterday, I was prepared for another slow rise and repeated betas.  I feared the number 800 because that would mean another value that is not quite doubling.  And I just wanted doubling.   I wanted at least 1,000.

When the phone rang I didn't answer it.   I didn't want bad news directly.  I'd rather hear it in a message.  So I listened to the message.  Beta #3 came back at 1,102.  A doubling time of 40 hours. 

Reassurance feels so good.  For this moment anyway.  At the very least we know we have a sac somewhere producing hcg at normal levels.  If only this information was any indication that the embryo is developing normally as well.

Today I am 5w1d.  The viability ultrasound is scheduled for November 12.