Taking a break from ttc is hard. We've been trying for 18 continuous months with not a single positive test, chemical or otherwise. There were over one hundred million sperm with sixty-four thousand motile and more than enough that were normally shaped and capable of meeting an egg, an egg that seems to be released around the same time every month, with adequate hormone levels to sustain a meeting and fertilization and clear tubes to work its way into a normally shaped uterus. But nothing ever happened.
So it's hard to take a break when it seems like it HAS TO WORK THIS MONTH, maybe with clomid, maybe with the help of an HSG flushing, maybe with...
We are taking a break for geographical reasons. We live in a remote area on the Northwest Coast. It's beautiful. Some might come here to take a conception vacation and walk for miles on the beaches. If I want to focus on professional activities I have to travel elsewhere. I thought when I joined F here after grad school it would be the perfect time to have a child (I could take time off, F could work for a couple years and then we could relocate for my career later), but all I've been doing for the past year is wallowing in our infertility, putting off professional plans in the hope that I would get pregnant the next month.
So, I have a gig in another state from July through September--and a forced ttc break. The BFN I got here during my first week without F was devastating. I was homesick, I wanted a new plan, I wanted to keep trying. That is when I decided to start this blog.
Aside from taking a break from BFNs, I've made an appointment with an acupuncturist on the 27th, part of a new plan and part of a break that could be a good thing.
Happy ICLW
11 comments:
I've heard great things about acupunture.
I'm too big of a wuss to do it though.
Best of luck to you in everything.
ICLW #50
I have also heard great things about acupuncture, and I was told it can take 3 months to have it's best effect!
I have taken a couple of TTC breaks, and at first it is difficult to deal with, but after a while not thinking about temps, meds, and all that jazz feels fantastic, and then when you do get back down to business, I feel refreshed and renewed!!
Happy ICLW #97
Jill, I'm sorry you've seen 18 months of BFNs, but I think it's great that your choosing to LIVE your life right now and not just pine for the future.
In the meantime, I think it's AWESOME you're doing acupuncture. I've only been going for a month, and already my cycle is regulating and body is feeling better and I truly think this will make a huge different in our TTC struggles - I hope the same for you!!!
Sometimes if Western medicine isn't doing the trick, it doesn't hurt to throw a little Eastern in there as well. :)
If you haven't read it already, check out "The Infertility Cure"
http://www.amazon.com/Infertility-Cure-Ancient-Wellness-Pregnant/dp/0316172294
It's an AMAZING book, and has opened my eyes up to a lot of different things.
I hope the break and the acupuncture help you to get into peak condition (and of course the absence will have you going at it like bunnies come September!)
I know exactly how you feel. My husband and I have been on a meds/treatment/procedure break for over 6 months now. The desire isn't gone, but our energy, money and (sad as it may sound) hope have passed us by after almost 3 years of trying. Wish it wasn't so hard for us all! ((hugs))
`ICLW
good luck on all of your adventures - professionally and otherwise.
i think taking a break from TTC can sometimes be harder mentally than ACTUALLY TTC! It was for me anyway. I wish you the best
*ICLW
Hey there-
Thanks for stopping by my blog.
Its a funny coincedence that you also had a "shitty" experience yesterday, crapping at the bus stop? Gross.
I am just coming off a forced break and honestly, it was GREAT for my mental health. As much as I wanted to be trying I couldn't (surgery) and it really helped a lot. Try to find something positive while on a break, hopefully it will give you new energy for when you start TTC again.
I go to an acupuncturist too, I want to believe it helps.
Glad you joined the blogworld :)
One last thing, I love the Pacific NW, such a lovely part of the country!
Welcome to the blogosphere and to ICLW! I know you will find blogging therapeutic and very supportive! I hope this break (and the acupuncture) is everything your mind and body needs to get success in the near future! I wish you all the best!
I just added your link on my blog which I hope will be a helpful resource for you too! ;-) (ICLW # 45 & 46)
Best wishes for a break which leaves you refreshed and ready for your next steps. Happy ICLW x
I know how hard it is to just 'take a break.' We decided not to pursue any more treatments, but it doesn't stop that little thing called hope that creeps up every. single. month. It feels great not to have to chart temps, etc, but I almost wish my cycles weren't so predictable.
Best wishes.
ICLW
Jill: your story sounds os so close to mine. We do not have any reason why we shouldn't be getting pregnant yet we have not seen one positive pregnancy test in 19 cycles of trying. Not ONE stinking test! And as much as I know it sucks to get a positive and to only have it ripped away, I just wish I knew we were at least fertilizing and one step closer to figuring out what is going on. Apparently my eggs arent getting fertilized or they are simply not implanting - not sure which. This is the most frustrating thing ever. I did acu for 6 months aggressively in hopes that it would help and I did see some improvements, but yet still have nothing to show for it all - oh so very frustrating.
So with all that said, I feel your pain and frustration and I know sitting out cycles is the hardest thing in the world, because even when we lose hope (or think we do) we still hang onto that tiny remote possibility that "this could be THE cycle". At least we still believe, even if it hurts.
The sitting out is hard at first, or at least the thought of it. But once you dont have to ruled and controlled by temps and sticks and timing everything, you will feel a sense of relief and slightly liberated. I did, so I hope you do too.
xoxoxoxoxox
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