Sunday I am meeting some childhood friends for brunch, some of whom I still keep in touch with, some of whom I have not seen in over 10 years and some who have recently had babies. You all know where this is going and it is an Infertile's nightmare.
I have been dreading this, looking forward to this, having pretend conversations, practicing what I will say if...
I am anticipating that the recently mommified friend will want to talk about her new baby, after all that's all she updates us with on facebook so why would real life interactions be any different? And I understand, I really do, of course she would want to talk about her new, sweet adorable little boy and of course that will be followed by the other ladies talking about when they are going to have kids, too (2 were recently married, and I heard one of them will start trying soon--ugh, girls' brunch is really NOT my thing).
So what do I do? I have decided that if I am asked when I plan to have kids that I am going to be honest and just come out to them -- sparing many emotional details, but just something like, well actually, we have been trying to get pregnant for a year and a half. So far we've been diagnosed with unexplained infertility and are starting fertility treatments when I return home in a month or so.
I'll let you know how it goes.
5 comments:
That's what I started doing, telling the truth. it's liberating...just be prepared for some awkward silence or for those who arent shy, some possible out there comments. People really want to help and so sometimes say things that make you want to scream. I think that's why so many IF's keep it to themselves to spare themselves the agony! LOL Good luck!
I just recently started telling a few friends. I've told them we are keeping it quiet though so hopefully the news doesn't start spreading like crazy, but it is nice to get it off my chest and everyone has been surprisingly supportive! I hope you have the same kind of support.
ICLW #117
That's exactly what I just started doing. It's hard, but also easier, if people just know what's going on and are HOPEFULLY a little more sensitive to the matter. Every one of my high school girlfriends has children except me, and it's definitely hard to do those brunches when you're struggling TTC. :(
#ICLW 91
Visiting from ICLW. I am so sorry you are a member of the dreaded "Unexplained Infertility" club. I can relate, I had no official diagnosis for 4 years. (And even now I have a general/weak diagnosis at best!)I hope that fertility t/x bring you success... and good luck with those girls' lunches. They can be QUITE tough!
First time visitor for ICLW.
I will be interested to hear how you handled the situation. I have started just telling people that we would love to have a child but apparently cannot, as we have been trying for over 2 years already. (We are also "unexplained.")
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