If I could put myself into a coma until the ultrasound I would. F could still give me my shots while I slept.
But since this is not an option, I have decided that I need to unplug myself for a few days. Get off the internet, stop googling and find ways to relax during the ten days until my ultrasound.
Yes, ten whole days until the ultrasound. I will be 6w5d then.
Today I am 5w2d. Those in the know text me, "How r u feeling?" I really don't know how to answer that question. Most of the time I feel normal, and reply "normal". This actually translates to, I feel depressed, not pregnant, nervous or I am simply a wreck so please stop asking. If they checked in on me at night, I might reply, "very tired." And this is pretty much my only symptom right now. I've been in bed by 9:30 every night this week, and that is a good sign. It is the days that are hard and mostly symptom free. I feel twinges here and there and welcome those as well.
After our loss in December, F now thinks I have a super sense about my body and what is happening inside. I knew that the pregnancy stopped growing last time. I knew we were not going to see a heartbeat. So this time around, he constantly asks if I feel pregnant. I tell him I don't know. This time I don't really have any symptoms to lose. They come and go so quickly.
F likes to help by offering to feel my breasts every night.
So far I felt the most 'pregnant' at 4w6d. My breasts were swollen, I was crampy, we ate dinner at 5:30 and I fell asleep before my shot. The next day? Nothing. And my pulse? 60.
I've since stopped taking my pulse to reassure myself. It has not remained elevated. Not even after walking or swimming. That little wrist reader is an emotional torture device. But it is so addictive.
In addition to hiding the blood pressure reader, I think I need to get off the internet for at least the weekend. We'll see how long I can stay away from the blogs and online resources. They help and then they don't. I just need complete distraction.
But know that I appreciate all of your comments--they always help.
6 comments:
Yes, stay off the internet. I always do the same thing and than give myself anxiety about everything. Your beta numbers were great! I hope you are relaxing, enjoy the weekend!
Sometimes it's good to take a break from the internet. I hope that y'all can try to enjoy the weekend.
=)
I completely undersxtand. I had to escape from the internet early in my pregnancy. Silence is the best thing.
XOXO I am thinking of you!
Do what you have to do my friend. We'll be here waiting for you and meanwhile I'm sending love and positive thoughts. Fran
It's so hard to get through early pregnancy - time moves so slowly!!! Hang in there, and it's very wise to stay away from the Internet during this time!
I am just catching up on the news! Congratulations on your BFP. I hope time will fly until your big appointment. I agree about unplugging. At times, a bit more privacy can help with coping. There is so much happening right now. Good things. I am so very happy and excited for you!
Post a Comment