Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Sob.

But not when my eyes were glued to the screen, no, and not even when I turned my eyes away to look at F, the wounded expression on his face.  No, we watched the ultrasound wand move through grey space, identified that familiar round blob, zoomed in and saw nothing but empty. black. space.

No yolk sac, no fetal pole, just a perfectly round and silent black blob of nothing measuring 6w6d.

I didn't sob until I realized I had to get out of bed this morning, that I would have to face the day after losing another pregnancy that wasn't really there in the first place.


24 comments:

waiting and wishing said...

I know there is nothing I can say that can make this better. I'm thinking about you and praying maybe, somehow there will be some answers that come from this. I'm so sorry.

Jesica said...

so sorry to hear this news. My thoughts are with you and your family.

- Mrs. D said...

I am so sorry to hear this awful news. I just found your blog last week and was praying and keeping my fingers crossed for you. I know how you are feeling, and there is truly nothing to say to make it feel better, except... I am sorry.

I am thinking of you as you take the next steps. ((Hugs))

Mrs. D

Just T said...

Oh no! I am so very sorry this happened. I am thinking about you.

Chon said...

I am so fucking sorry

justagirl-Krista said...

I am so sorry to be reading this :(. Thinking of you.

Hattie said...

Devastated for you. And angry. And so sorry.

KC said...

Thinking of you and wish you weren't going through this.

JJ said...

So horribly sorry Jill.

Rebecca said...

I am so incredibly devastated for you. My heart just dropped reading this. I am so, so sorry.

The Redhead said...

I know there are no words, but my heart is heavy for you. I'm so sorry. Sending strength, if that is even possible. (((Hugs)))

Jos said...

Oh my God, Jill, my heart just dropped while reading this. I am so, so sorry. %^#@$=

A said...

I'm so, so sorry.

Keya said...

I am not sure what to say. This is just awful awful. Oh. Praying for you and hubby. This is just heartbreaking.

Anonymous said...

I am so, so sorry to hear this, I'm praying for you.

Sooz said...

I'm so sorry...I wish there were something I could do or say. I am thinking of you.

Anonymous said...

I'm so very, very sorry. Sending light and love.

erika said...

This is so incredibly unfair:( I am so sorry. Sending you lot's of love and lot's of positive thoughts for the next steps.

Alex said...

NO!!!! Oh my goodness, this is so unfair. I'm so incredibly sorry. Thinking of you.

Sara-Lynn said...

Noooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, I am so sorry. Blachhh. Let me know if you want to chat or anything... my experience was so similar and my heart breaks for you. I wouldn't wish this on anyone.

Sandy said...

OH NO! I'm so sorry!!!!!!

Shelley @ Tales from the Waiting Room said...

Here from LFCA to offer my sympathy and condolences. I'm so very sorry for this loss.

Elizabeth :: Bébé Suisse said...

Here from LFCA. I'm so sorry. I had a similar experience - an empty sac around seven weeks - and know how difficult it can be. Thinking of you and wishing you strength.

RbMommy said...

I wish there was something i could say to make it better. I'm so sorry.