Post-Miscarriage Beta #1

This morning I visited my good ol' small town medical center, where I am recognized, most likely as that bereft woman who has been coming in for repeat beta hcg blood work since January.  I cannot express just how much I would rather have blood drawn at my RE's office.  My repeat betas would not be unusual, arouse suspicion and curiosities or warrant questions or comments.  At least there was a new person at check-in this morning who did not remember my name.  The phlebotomist with the ring that says "Dad" called me back this morning.  I pulled up my sleeve to offer the 'easier' vein and bit my tongue when I saw he was not going to use the butterfly needle.  He inserted the needle, moved it around a bit, moved it around a bit more, sighed and when I looked at my arm there was no blood flowing.  He took the needle out.  Repeat with my other arm.  He asked me if I was dehydrated.  If I had low blood pressure.  Then said, "I know the last time I drew your blood I didn't have any problems."  Great.  Even he remembers me.  I attempted to persuade him to try the good vein again but instead, for the first time today, I had blood drawn from a vein in my wrist.   I left partially mummified with green tape covering my poke marks.

Geez.

It has been six days since the miscarriage and my hcg levels are at 1,210.  Higher than I was anticipating.  This number also explains my still swollen breasts.  The one symptom that still lingers.

It is difficult not to compare every detail from each miscarriage.  I keep hearing myself interpret every clot, symptom, test result with, well, with my last miscarriage...

I haven't bled as much or even as red as I expected, which has me a little worried that it is not quite over yet.  For the most part it seems that things are already ending.  Other than the hour of passing large clots and red blood, the bleeding has been more like a light period (of brown??) As of today I am only spotting.

If the bleeding is in fact coming to an end, next week I will start exercising again.  There is also sex to be had.  

In two weeks I will have another beta.  In two weeks we will also have "The Discussion" with the RE, where we will discuss genetics, immunology, next steps and new protocols.

I kind of wish now that we had not done the genetic and immune testing (after getting the bill and having insurance reject coverage).  I now feel indifferent to them both and wonder if IVF with CCS would provide more answers, or more useful answers, than the blood tests.  We'll see.   They could very well come back with abnormalities that will completely change the game.