Surviving More Than Just the Two-Week Wait

This has been a stressful cycle. I mistimed my IUI, had multiple positive readings on the opk, and ovulated on a timeframe that matches my natural cycle rather than one stimulated by clomid. My professional life is currently in downtime and I am working in my studio at home where it is too easy to access the internet, where these is too much focus on infertility, too much procrastination. I'm hardly getting any work done. I can't concentrate.

I haven't been to acupuncture since December, for geographical reasons. I'm full time isolated on the coast again. I am desperate for some mind-body, relaxation based, acceptance promoting, thought calming exercise. So desperate that I have amassed a relaxation program for myself that includes Meditation, Yoga, and EFT.

While doing so, I have run into media stories about treating the emotional effects of infertility, primarily yoga and fertility. One is an article in the NewYorkTimes titled Yoga's Stress Relief: An Aid for Infertility? and the other is a recent Creating A Family podcast on Yoga, Nutrition and Acupuncture.

Yoga:

I love Yoga. I love Bikram Yoga, hot yoga, but was advised by my acupuncturist not to do Bikram Yoga while actively trying to get pregnant because it can be depleting on some bodies, and if I am already depleted, well.... I have made it a habit of not engaging in any activity, especially during the two-week wait, that I wouldn’t engage in if I were pregnant. This is why it has been important for me to find healthy mind-body practices that I can do any time, without worrying if I am depleting certain energies, impeding implantation, or stressing my body in a physical way. Part of it is a fear that I am doing something wrong or that because I am infertile, it is more risky for me to engage in exercises that Fertiles rarely question; the other part of this motivation is about really being aware of stress, depression and negative feelings that have accumulated during the past 2 years of trying to conceive. I dutifully attended an all levels yoga for a year, but then became concerned about the deep twists during the two-week wait and stopped doing that as well. The teacher of this class also offers a restorative class now and then, in which only four or five poses are done during the hour and a half time slot. Elaborate setups of bolsters, blocks, blankets and poses are practiced and it is very relaxing. One class was offered last Sunday so I called the instructor to inquire about deep twists during that class. Some of the restorative twists are intense and reach deep to massage organs and squeeze out toxins. I would have been 7 dpo and awaiting possible implantation, not to mention still feeling a little bloated from clomid stimulation. I told my Yoga teacher about my infertility and my interest in yoga for fertility. She was very supportive and offered to meet with me for a private session to show me a fertility program developed by Iyengar’s daughter. It is a restorative sequence of modified inversions that is to be practiced for an hour a day for 4 months. She would show me how to do the poses correctly so I could continue at home. Again, I worry about inversions during the two week wait (whether rational or not—are inversions okay?), so I tell her that If I am not pregnant by the end of this week that we will set something up after menses. I can do Geeta Iyengar’s restorative fertility sequences during the months in between treatment cycles and before ovulation.

I also finally ordered Brenda Strong’s Yoga 4 Fertility DVD. She leads a sequence of poses designed to build the yin energy in the body. From what I understand from reading The Infertility Cure and talking with my acupuncturist, Yin energy correlates to the follicular phase, in fact the sequence includes ovarian massage. Yang correlates to the luteal phase, the two-week wait, so again the question still remains—what can I do during the two-week wait? Her website also includes a page with what she considers the 5 best yoga positions to aid fertility.

While waiting for an oil change last week I listened to the Creating A Family's podcast about Yoga. Beth Heller, from Pulling Down the Moon, and author of Fully Fertile, was the guest for the yoga segment. The emphasis was less on the physical benefit that yoga offers and more on the ways that yoga teaches us how to manage stress through an awareness of what we are feeling and how we hold those feelings in our bodies. The Pulling Down the Moon blog features a video with a simple flow of lunges and folds.

Meditation:

The yoga studio offers free meditation classes twice a week during the day and while I have a hard time following much of the philosophies referenced--I’ve always been resistant to mind-body ideas and anything spiritual--I really just want to learn how to sit, breathe and confront negative thoughts. My first visit to the class hooked me: Acknowledge the thought. Just because you have a thought does not mean you have to think it.

EFT:

I first learned about EFT. last year during a tele-seminar hosted by Sarah Holland of Fertile Mindset. Her EFT program is intriguing and while I can’t fully describe it yet, I recommend investigating it yourself. Similar to the notion in meditation that is okay to have a thought, or many thoughts, that are self-defeating, hopeless, and negative, EFT teaches ways to acknowledge and reform those thoughts through a tapping technique. The Fertile Mindset Blog includes videos that walk you through certain scenarios and tapping. For an introduction to tapping, watch this video. I followed this video for the New Year a few weeks ago. It is kind of amazing how it works.

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I think I am finally finding the resources I need to get me through not only the two week wait, but the temptation to spend hours a day reading blogs, searching for news stories, googling information pertaining to whatever cycle day, treatment, procedure, symptom I am experiencing and emotions I am feeling on any given day. Infertility is intoxicating and stressful. Yoga helps. Meditation helps. Stress Reduction techniques help.