Phone Consult

Today F and I had a phone consult with the RE to finally review our IVF cycle.  I think we kind of fell through the cracks as we waited for the miscarriage/since there was a miscarriage.    I only found out that we were supposed to have a consult before proceeding with next steps (FET) when I called to get the results of my final beta hcg.  Then had to wait 2 weeks to get an appointment. 

Regardless, my birth control pill cycle is underway and today we have had the consult in which we review the IVF cycle.  According to the RE, the cycle went really well (up until the miscarriage) and he made us feel hopeful about our chances with FET.

Still, my biggest insecurity is that although we had a very high fertilization rate (9 out of 10 eggs) and our blastocysts looked great, our embryos are ultimately genetically abnormal and will not develop.  The RE told us that while abnormality was probably the case with the embryo I miscarried, there is no reason to question the quality of the remaining embryos.......yet. 

Yet.  See my fear?  We won't know until we try and lose again.  I know this is always the hardest part.

Which brings us to the second hardest part.  Do we try another single embryo transfer?  The remainder of our talk with the RE concerned eSET.

He is certainly supportive of our decision to try eSET again.  Embryos in his lab have a 90% chance of surviving the thaw process.  We have 4 that were frozen individually.  If we thaw one and it doesn't make it, we will have time to thaw another before the transfer. 

However, there are situations and statistics to consider:
The success rates of eSET for a frozen cycle are not well documented, especially at my clinic.
What if the embryos don't look as great once they are thawed?  
The overall chance of twins is not as high for a frozen cycle as it is for a fresh IVF cycle. 
This shouldn't be a factor, or maybe it should, but it is--under the shared risk plan we entered, if this FET does not work, our next cycle will be a fresh IVF, even if we have frozen embryos left over.
Again, my fear that all or most of our embryos are genetically abnormal and will not develop--would I still be pregnant with one if we had transferred two?  

And--the RE recommends that we transfer 2 embryos.

He told us to take our time and think about it.  The decision is ours (if our embryos cooperate).

After we ended the call we made our decision.  F said, "Fuck it, let's transfer two."  I said okay and instantly felt a weight lift off my conscience.  This decision has rekindled the excitement I felt going into IVF.  A feeling of hope.  Less urgency.

2 months til transfer.