Myth: Lifestyle Changes Can Cure Infertility

Bust An Infertility Myth for National Infertility Awareness Week. Here is one that I am especially passionate about:

A little over two years ago, at age 31, my partner and I decided we wanted a child. The first thing I did that very month was quit caffeine because I wanted to get pregnant. I switched to decaf coffee and limited my morning consumption to 2 small cups. A year and a half later when I was diagnosed with unexplained infertility, I turned to TCM and reluctantly attempted to quit coffee altogether for the summer at the recommendation of my acupuncturist. I bought a book that offered a 'cure' for infertility and followed the dietary suggestions, omitting things like raw and cold foods to help warm my uterus. I read about fertility diets that called for the elimination of dairy, wheat, sugar, fruit juices and of course, alcohol and coffee, even decaf. I came across a sentence that has both haunted me every time someone offers me a piece of cake and a glass of wine, and has fueled my anger about my infertility: "why wouldn't you sacrifice anything you could, just to know that you did everything you possibly could to conceive?"

After sacrificing many lifestyle pleasures, from hot yoga to lattes to abdominal workouts to sugar and all junk food (even though a fertile, pregnant friend just posted a status update about eating doritos. I NEVER eat foods like doritos, in fact, I wouldn't even think about it!), and still having no pregnancy to show for it, I got angry.

After my first IUI didn't work, a friend asked, "Is there anything you can do differently? I read an article that said eliminating wheat from your diet can help with infertility, have you heard of that?"

The idea or promise that there exists a fertility diet, magic supplement or lifestyle change that can cure unexplained infertility in otherwise healthy individuals is as much blaming as it is myth making. I am tired of feeling guilty for being infertile, for feeling like I am not doing everything I can to conceive.

I think it is important to make healthy choices about what we put into our bodies, and I acknowledge that diet, exercise, and smart lifestyle choices are necessary for anyone wanting to become pregnant, but if dietary restrictions are causing you to feel guilty when you cheat, to feel stress and anxiety over food, or making you feel even more out of control than IF does alone, then your diet is causing more harm than benefit.

My lifestyle is not to blame for my infertility, I am not causing my infertility because I occasionally eat and drink all the things that people without infertility eat and drink without question. I am doing everything I can to help my body conceive.

As infertility patients, we have already been taking our pre-natal vitamins for 2 years or longer, limiting alcohol always or at least during fertility treatment cycles, practicing yoga, fertility yoga, meditation and other stress reducing activities to manage our disappointment and depression, eating organic, balanced diets, finding exercises that we can continue during treatment. We are vulnerable, but we are most likely healthy (even if our eggs are crap, or we don't ovulate on our own, or we have abnormal semen parameters).

I refuse to deny myself small pleasures like a cup of creamy decaf coffee in the morning, or a bowl of ice cream for a treat now and then, or a glass of wine on a Saturday night with friends, while struggling with infertility. I am absolutely willing to make sacrifices for my future baby in utero, but I have decided that I am unwilling to make those sacrifices for infertility month after month and year after year. Infertility has taken too much from me already. I refuse to let infertility take over my life.

To learn more about infertility, please visit RESOLVE

To get involved in National Infertility Awareness Week, please visit NIAW

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