clomid + IUI #3 begins

On Friday, AF arrived, and for the first time in over 2 years, I was actually surprised by the arrival, not watching the clock, and not disappointed. March marked a break, for a family visit, for a short trip up the Oregon Coast, from temping, from timed intercourse. It was a nice break that involved a new patient consult with a larger, more reputable clinic and RE (more on that in the next post).

Yet, even though I was in the midst of red blood on CD 3, I still have to take a pregnancy test. It is something I always do before starting clomid, a precaution, even if it is the tiniest of chances that could warrant a precaution. It feels silly to do, but I do it anyway. Even sillier is the way I hover over the test as color flushes past the window on the stick, as if I don't know it will be negative. And even as the definitive one pink line emerges stark and clear, I still search for that faint second line that does not exist, holding the stick this way and tilting it that way and then taking it to the window so I can view it in natural light. I contemplate asking F to "please come look at the test and see if you can see a faint line?" I don't. I snap out of it. I take my clomid that night. This time 100mg of it.

IUI #3 cycle begins.